A Bunny and a Bad Day
by goddess of all daleks
Summary: The Master has had better days than this. Featuring the Delgado!Master, a bunny, and a teen with some Silly String... Slight crack!fic warning. Please review!


**A Bunny and a Bad Day**

_This is a short one-shot jointly inspired by the _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ musical episode 'Once More with Feeling' (specifically, Anya's song 'Bunnies') and the term 'plot bunny'. (My working title for it was actually 'Not Just Cute, Like Everybody Supposes' – fans of _Buffy_ will get the reference! – but then it didn't fit with the finished story. Sadness!) It eventually evolved into the following: my first fan fiction! Please read and review!_

_Disclaimer__: I do in fact own _Doctor Who_, the Master, Cadbury's, the company that makes Silly String, and your pet rabbit._

_(For those who are sarcasm impaired, that was a complete lie. I own none of these things. If I did, I would be making oodles of cash off this fic. I'm not.)_

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The Master was not having a good day.

His nemesis the Doctor had defeated his latest evil scheme. His tissue compression eliminator had most infuriatingly run out of batteries. And the exasperating human teen (the latest intended target of said tissue compression eliminator) who had ambushed him as he was exiting his Tardis had managed to get green Silly String in his immaculately groomed beard.

_And by Rassilon,_ he wondered, _how the hell do you ambush someone coming out of a Tardis that looks like a marble column?!_

The Master sighed, sat down on a convenient outcropping of rock next to the rural path he'd been walking along, and watched a fluffy bunny rabbit hop its way over to him and sit by his feet.

"Perhaps the real question," he told the rabbit, "is why must the Doctor spend so much time on this dismal planet? It's no use thinking up infernal plans unless he's close enough to attempt to thwart them, and yet it's almost not worth it if it means having to come to Earth to carry them out!"

The Master looked down at his floppy-eared companion. "You know exactly what I mean, don't you?" he said to it. It made a sort of whuffling noise and twitched its nose at his shoelaces. "I mean," he continued, "it's so dreadfully mundane! Its only unique attractions are children's television and those delicious little chocolate eggs with creamy fillings…"

The Master dug in his dimensionally transcendent pockets just in case he happened to have a Cadbury Creme Egg secreted away there. Failing to find any such morsel, he sighed again, explosively. The bunny gave what might have been a sneeze, and continued to nibble his shoelaces. He regarded it thoughtfully for a moment, wondering if its fur was really as soft and fluffy as it looked, then reached down to stroke it.

It bit him.

The Master yelped in shock and pain, reached for his tissue compression eliminator, fired at the rabbit, remembered when nothing happened that the batteries were dead, and threw it at the offending rodent instead. It hopped smartly out of the way and darted down the nearest rabbit hole.

He groaned theatrically and closed his eyes, hoping against hope that when he opened them he'd somehow be back in his Tardis with a clean beard, a fully functioning weapon, and an unbitten hand, in orbit of some distant and far more pleasant planet.

He opened his eyes, then sighed yet again when he saw he was still sitting on the rock next to the rabbit hole. Retrieving his energy-depleted weapon, he trudged back to his Tardis to change the batteries, select a Creme Egg from his personal stash, and hopefully catch an episode of _The Clangers_ on the external scanner.

Shortly thereafter, the teen with the Silly String looked around curiously for the source of the anguished yell he heard. Inside his Tardis, the Master had just remembered that the reason he was still on earth in the first place was to replenish his stock of batteries and sweets, and he angrily threw the tissue compression eliminator at the wall.

It missed, and hit the scanner instead, shattering all hope of tuning in to _The Clangers_.

The Master was not having a good day.


End file.
